Enough & More Than

I read an article the other day that served the purpose of reminding moms that they are enough. That it’s okay, being overwhelmed is okay, and that perfection doesn’t exist here in this motherhood situation.

But I’m gonna call it. I’m gonna get wordy and passionate, and I hope you don’t mind.

Motherhood is hard. Acknowledging imperfection is what helps make me a better mom. But I am more than just enough. I don’t like putting it in those terms, that I am enough as a mom. For some, that statement serves it purpose well. It isn’t meant to demean or belittle; I know it’s purpose is to uplift and remind. But friends, I am more than that. I want to believe more than that.

Thinking back to my 18-year-old self, I didn’t have a clue that this would be where I would be. I think back to being a first time mom with one boy. And then a loss. And then another boy. And another one. I haven’t had a lot of rest between these pregnancies, births, and seasons. I have been thrown into motherhood after only being a wife for 11 months and legally allowed to drink for five months. This has been nonstop for me. So I know. I think I understand. It is difficult. It is exhausting. I am not sure most days, and other days I feel completely lost. Mirrors are not always kind, nor is the nagging sense of Who am I? You want to know the truth about being a mom? It is lonely some days, but dripping in love of every form. It is sweet and pure, holy work.

In my humanness, I am not quite enough for this position. I have said a choice word or two in front of my boys and regretted it instantly. I’ve locked myself away from the screaming and crying because for the love of all that is good, some days leave me feeling like a true failure. It feels like I’m chasing my own tail, cleaning up after an eternally leaking trash bag, and hugging and kissing ouchies and tantrums all at once. It is a quadruple triathlon (does that exist?) with surprise land mines. It is insane and draining and…

This is motherhood. In my humanness, this is the chaos of it.

But who am I?
I am not of this world.
I am not my own.
I am covered in sacrificial blood.
I am saved and redeemed and loved by the King of kings.
In my humanness, I struggle to be enough.
In His holiness, I never fall short.

Do you hear that? You, who think you’re enough. You’re more than that. Your worth is immeasurable. Your service, immeasurable. Your value, unmatched. Your purpose, holy. Holy! Don’t accept just believing that you’re enough, just so. Your King rescued you so that you could be hidden in His perfection. Covered by Him, you are beyond enough. You are perfect for the job, and your resources are endless.

Motherhood, hard. But I have the Lord of hosts. I have Him. It is okay that this whole motherhood season, as it looks today with three little kids, is messy, hard, unorganized, and imperfect. It is okay that I screw up, and it is okay to remind myself that it is okay. But it is even greater to refresh my memory of Truth: I belong to a King. And He’s got me within reach. I am perfected by grace and re-energized by faith. And because of that, I am better than enough and okay. I am extraordinary.

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