I used to be envious of other people. Actually, I find myself still envious of people often. I just like to think I’ve improved.
I used to hate my fingernails. (Yeah, you read that right) The shape. The cuticles. Gosh, I would pick at my cuticles. It was such a self-conscious thing for me in school. I was always nervous someone was staring at my hands. I pined after the beautiful hands of my friends. (Yes, you really are reading this correctly.)
Sometimes I get those weird, aggravating thoughts in my head: Your _____ isn’t good enough. Look at what she has! Look at what they have! Look! Look! You just aren’t good enough!
These days my envy tends to fall around other people’s homes and just plain old stuff. And shoes. And occasionally my little fingernails.
Here’s my point: if I can get thrown off my path by my concern with my fingernails, why do I expect others to ever be perfect, if I am this imperfect? I can be sidetracked by the envy of everyone else and their stuff and fingernails, and it leaves me to know that I am not any better than anyone else. I am easily tripped up. I am not perfect. I do not have it all together.
And it should remind me: it is okay. That all of the stuff and things and fingernail polish in the world will not make me happy. My joy does not come from accumulating stuff just because everyone else has it too. My joy comes from God, His sweet love, His devoted grace. My joy comes from knowing that I can come to Him just as I am. Imperfections and all. And He says, “My daughter. I love you. And those fingernails! I made those myself!”
He’s a God who never made a mistake. I don’t have to envy His love that He has for others. He’s got that same love for me.