Janelle Delagrange

10 Day Reflection: Nothing & Everything

“I care too deeply.” The answer I would give if you asked me to describe my greatest weakness. I care so much my insides twist at the thought of disappointing even a stranger. I am the queen of pushing myself to the side to appease the needs of others. The empathy within me runs deep.Continue reading “10 Day Reflection: Nothing & Everything”

Waterproof

I picked up the tube of mascara that I normally forgo every morning. Waterproof. I don’t need waterproof. I don’t plan on crying today. At least, I don’t feel stressed enough at this moment to warrant an overflow of emotion at the end of the day. But the other tube is empty. Actually, I can’tContinue reading “Waterproof”

The Morning

I need the early morning. It would survive without me, but if I don’t wake to it, I breathe shallow breaths instead of deep, rejuvenating inhales. This morning I opened my eyes to my alarm, and I laid there. “Get up. Get up. Get up. You have to get up.” I say it in myContinue reading “The Morning”

Storyteller

Years ago she sat on the floor of her closet, waiting for salvation to change the circumstances of reality. The carpet fibers were filled with the remnants of her tears, the pages of her journal splayed open like an abstract painting on display. Everything and nothing made sense. The deepest desire of her young heartContinue reading “Storyteller”

The Chaos of Being Loved

Wake up. Pour coffee. Sit in the chair at the head of the table and overlook the kids and their tablets, my chaos and my loves. We move through the motions of attendance, zoom calls, schoolwork, repeat. Weeks of chaos brought a consistency and routine that is chaotic from the outside but rhythmic for me.Continue reading “The Chaos of Being Loved”

First Day, Tired Eyes

I’m never going to sleep again. It always felt that way. The next day, the first day, was always a day heavy with tired eyes because I never slept well the night before. When I started having kids, I rarely thought about the first day of school because it was far enough away that IContinue reading “First Day, Tired Eyes”

The Fresh Pain of Change

Given what time does to us, it is remarkable we forget what we do. The pains of childbirth, the aches of running when we are not runners, the strain of pressure we thought we could handle but recognize far too late is not our cup of tea. Again. And again. Our minds recoil and snapContinue reading “The Fresh Pain of Change”