If you’ve been here before, or long enough, you’ve read why I call this blog Soul Strings. And if you don’t know, I’ll fill you in.
When I first named this site Soul Strings, I didn’t have much of an inspiration or reason. It was just a string (play on words intended!) of words I put together that sounded fitting. I didn’t put much thought into it. Quite honestly, it’s how I love to write the most. I love writing about my life, how-to’s, lists. I like blogging new stuff. But I really love writing when it’s like a fluid movement, a dance. I don’t put much thought to the words, I just let them escape me as they come to mind. Most of these blog titles you’ll see come from that space within me; in most cases, I do make sure they make sense. But I love to title my work after the inner workings, the parts of me that move like water in a river.
After thinking about it more, I realized just how perfect the name Soul Strings is. How it encompasses a lot of my heart in ways I wasn’t sure I could put into words. The point of me being here is to find ways to direct every aspect of my little life to my Creator. To His purpose for me. To His good and holy ways. I envision a horizon with ropes going straight up to the heavens.
In light of that, yesterday we bought a mini van.
I’ve never been so excited to have such a big vehicle with so.much.space, and simultaneously go into debt. I know Dave Ramsey would tell me there is another way! Maybe some day I will follow it. Today isn’t that day. We’re gonna pay the crap out of that loan.
I wish there was an easier way for us. Or an easy-to-read map that showed us the best way to do everything, because I sure could use it. God is gracious in that He gives us options and choices, but we don’t really know the best one sometimes. We hope for the best. We rely on His faithfulness and our trust in Him that things will be okay. I hate the feeling of needing to explain myself to the world. It haunts me sometimes. Like, why are you writing about your mini van woes, Janelle?
I want to remember Who loves me most. I want to remember that He pardoned me. I want to remember that because of Him, I can walk in holiness. I can trust Him. I can believe that He will do what He promises. I want to remember that what haunts me is a cheap example of attention, whereas there is nothing unseen by Him. I want to remember that everything should be about Him, not about me.
Finn is currently in the stage of fearlessly taking steps in the hope of walking. He only gets 4-5 steps in before he plops on his bottom. And then he tries again. His failure does not hinder him. And someday far too soon, he will take off with his feet flying beneath him. A subtle and poignant reminder of what it looks like to believe Jesus when He says He isn’t leaving us. It takes a few tries. It takes a few falls. But once we know it, cemented in our souls, the footwork becomes more like flying.
Another string to plant in the ground and shoot toward the sky.