Since becoming a blogger a few years ago, I have had quite a few people say, “You should really see if you can make money doing this!” It’s a flattering thought, but one that I have almost always shot down. My first thought was to always say that “the minute I’m writing for money is the moment I’m doing it for the wrong reasons.” Which could be true. But side note: I thoroughly enjoy excuses.
When I broke off my new relationship with my now-husband after a month or so of dating, I kid you not, I told him it was because I wanted to focus more on God. Partly true, in that, I did love Jesus. Mostly an excuse, in that, I was so scared to be somebody’s girlfriend.
I didn’t attend a women’s Bible study at my church ever until last week. Why? I’m good at excuses. “My kids are little.” “I don’t have the time.” “I might actually have to do some work to stay up to speed with what we’re studying.”
Can I be honest, and hope that you won’t judge me to death? I’m mostly scared. Of everything. Of being too much, being too vulnerable with people, of failing, of looking stupid, of believing that I am more valuable than what I say I am.
I don’t even want to toot my own horn. I don’t want people to really pay attention to me most days. The idea of being seen sometimes makes me want to close all my blinds and hide. That would be easy. That is something I could manage.
Being a writer for real? That could never happen.
Being married to a guy who loves Jesus more than he loves me? That could never happen.
Being in community with other women, putting myself in challenging positions to grow alongside others, and learning & studying the Bible with intention? That could never happen.
You know how God works. He normally takes what we think is truth and shows us just how good, powerful, and surprising He is. Everything I listed above is my real time, real life life. And even though it’s reality, I still struggle to believe it’s really true. As though I don’t deserve it, I am not worthy, my value doesn’t measure up, or any other excuse in my book. He sets me free from this thinking of deserve, should & never. He speaks life.
Where things seem impossible, He is absolutely able.
When I doubt any bit of me, He comes through without fail.
And you best believe that He comes through in the ways that we don’t always plan. I like that about Him. He has no confines.
Whatever your excuse, do it anyways. Be that woman who walks in step with the Lord. Be that woman you think you can’t, because you best believe that He can. You can. You have the rights to eternity and the riches of heaven because you belong to a King. The value of your soul, the righteousness you couldn’t earn, it is not out of reach.
I enjoy my excuses, but He isn’t impressed by them. He only gets a wary woman and a half-hearted, “Love ya, Jesus.” I’m all for giving Him every drop of my being so I can love Him & love others well.
Whatever it is, believe you can. And then run with Him. He’ll match your every step.