Bloody Sunday

Sunday morning, I woke up, fed my kids, turned on the TV. Wild Kratts was on PBS Kids, and I left it on for them so I could get ready for church. Evan eventually turned on the news, and I was stopped by the breaking news report. I watched for 15 minutes, hearing the news of a mass shooting. Again. My heart didn’t break enough. I got up, finished getting ready, we left the house with minutes to spare. TV off. I had already forgotten.

Sundays are always busy. The boys didn’t lay down for naps until 2:30, and I had my mind on clearance shoes at Kohl’s. I scrolled through Facebook for a brief moment to see the many posts on Orlando, on the shooting, on all the victims. But I felt desensitized to it, as though I couldn’t quite feel the degree of sadness I should when so many people were ruthlessly murdered.

It wasn’t until I sat here on my couch, only minutes ago, to find my hands clutching my phone, eyes glued to the screen as I read story after story.

I write a lot on here about being women who are after a mighty God, who live to bring glory to His name, who love people fiercely, and who allow dreams to grow like ivy on a brick wall. I had forgotten a trait that I often stifle, one that I don’t always enjoy, something that makes me nervous. Uncomfortable. Scared. An important trait that a mighty woman of God should have. And it’s being a woman who is willing to do the uncomfortable, scary, brave things. The one who sometimes has to stand alone.

On Sunday, I got to move on with my life while people’s lives were shattered. Souls were taken from this earth that didn’t deserve such a horrific death, and I can’t stand the thought of ignoring them. Tears fill my eyes. Christians can be known for being hypocritical, bigots, homophobic. At the end of this day, we’re all loved by God. He loves us. In mighty ways. And His love for those people who were killed is the same for me. He doesn’t love me more. He died for them just as equally for me. That’s what makes this important.

Women of God, Church. Stand up. Don’t ignore your neighbors who feel immense pain, who feel fear because of this incident, who mourn because their loved ones were killed. Be women who stand with them. Who love them. Who meet people where their need is. Who step up and step out and love hard. Who aren’t afraid to be with people you normally wouldn’t associate with. We follow a God who came to this earth and walked in the flesh with those who didn’t have a friend. We follow Jesus, who got down on the level of people other believers were afraid of. These people are people. Rally for them. Love them. Be brave.

I don’t want to ignore the pain, pretend as though this crime doesn’t affect me. It does. The human lives taken were just that: human lives. With souls. And smiles that show in their eyes. I mourn with you, my friends. You don’t deserve to be persecuted. You don’t deserve to be hated. You don’t deserve this. You deserve to be loved, just like the rest of us.

Published by Janelle Delagrange

Wife to a graphic designer, mom to three young boys, and writer of the soul.

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