I don’t know how many marriage advice videos, sermons, or books I have to read before I truly understand this statement: Your husband cannot read your mind. As in, if you want something, most times, he isn’t going to just know. And dang it, I want him to know without me moving an inch, before I open my mouth to speak, and before I even know what I actually want. I know. I’m working on it.
This concept actually spills into most of my relationships, it just manifests itself in a harsher way in my marriage. It took me some time to realize that you just gotta talk. Communicate. When you appreciate something, tell someone. When you have a problem, discuss it. When you want someone to understand, explain. When you want someone to read your mind and know what you want, tell them. (Hint, they will never read your mind.)
It’s hard to discuss the hard things, like when there’s conflict or when someone is hurt. You know what can be harder? Telling someone just how much you appreciate them. That you care. That you think their lipstick looks great. That you believe in them. Once I warmed up to the idea of how much joy it brings to tell people how much they matter, how great they look, or how much of a blessing they are, it gets easier. It becomes important, to care about people so much that you have to tell them. It makes the Gospel alive.
One of my favorite ways to love people well is to write letters or notes to tell them how much they care. In high school, I used college-ruled notebook paper, but these days I’ve stepped it up a bit.
I’m really excited to share about Scriptionery, a scripture stationery company. Yvette, the company’s co-owner, reached out to me a few weeks ago on a whim, and after exchanging a few emails, I quickly realized just how much our stories were alike.
I’ve been using their beautiful stationery to write letters to some important women in my life because 1. Who doesn’t love a letter? and 2. Who doesn’t love to look at a letter on beautiful stationery? Their Psalm 23:1,2 and Colossians 3:14 stationery are some that I almost want to frame and hang on my walls. But, I’ve got people to love. Letters to write. So, they find themselves in more important hands than my own.
If you’re looking for some new stationery (or maybe a new piece of art for your walls), head over to their website and look at their work. Yvette was such a joy to work with, and I couldn’t recommend them more highly.
In the meantime, don’t withhold your words when they can be life-giving. Tell your mama friend that she is a good stinkin’ mom and that she is brave. Tell your dad that you’re grateful he’s your dad. Tell your pastor that he and his family are prayed for. Tell that girl in the checkout line that her lipstick color looks amazing. Tell your friend just how mighty the Lord is in her.
Write your letters. Let’s litter this world with a lot more joy than we came with.
JANELLE DELAGRANGE 