But you will not leave in haste or go in flight; for the Lord will go before you, the God of Isreal will be your rear guard.
Over the summer, God started doing a work in me. For years, I spent time in the Word, but never pushed myself more than I had to. It’s just not easy to do a lot of things for myself as a mom. It’s also no excuse. By August, God was like, You know what? Let’s dive into scripture. Let’s memorize My words for you. Over the course of a month, I was given scripture cards on three different occasions, none connected in any way, prompting me to memorize scripture. I often think of the video of John Piper reciting full chapters of the Bible simply from memory. That recollection has remained in my mind for years.
This week I’m studying how to listen to the Holy Spirit when He prompts me to do. It has never been easy. I’ve always been afraid, and I always question the validity of His requests in my life. I don’t often believe Him. I believe that my ways are safer (and in most cases, are).
There is a difference in the woman I am now, and who I was six months ago. The transformation God has made is that: something He has done.
I gave myself restrictions, as far as the woman I could actually be. I was content with motherhood. I was content with the safety of the obvious call on my life; I was okay with ignoring truth God had spoken over my life in the past. There was a moment in my life that I often go back to. I was 19, with a woman I respected and wanted to be like. It was the first time I voiced the prompting I felt to minister to women. I was 19, which meant I didn’t believe it for a minute. I believed I was called, but I didn’t I believe I was able. I spent six years ignoring it.
I don’t dwell on my inaction; God obviously used me well and purposefully in those six years. It wasn’t until this year that I turned my face back toward Him, towards that 19 year old girl who knew something He had revealed.
I’m not saying motherhood is a menial task, or that God must have something bigger for you if that’s all that you do. Not at all. The task of being a mom is the greatest thing I’ll ever do. I am saying, pay attention. You are not boxed in. You can do anything. God has placed something on your heart, and my sweet friend, pay attention to it.
Today, I’m working on fear. I have become better at shaking it away and letting God fill me with courage. But there are the moments when I hear His prompting, and I ignore Him. Because fear is strong. I am scared. But He will not leave me in haste or go in flight. He goes before me. He is behind me. He is all around, and He is my Keeper.
That’s my God. That’s your God. You are a woman who can do great things, you are doing great things. He is great, and He will not leave you in haste or flee. He is here until the end.