Yesterday was a leap of faith. Today, I just want to talk real talk.
All day yesterday, I felt like I had consumed five cups of coffee. Releasing Rally into the world felt too dang uncomfortable for my liking. We’ve been praying about it for weeks. I already know what God will do if we’re obedient, so it feels like it’s already there. It feels like we’ve already established precedence, but really, it’s still something that God is working to bring to life. This has become a theme in my life recently: God is sending out visions for what He wants to happen, and believing in them before they’ve been released into the world is so scary. It truly is walking into a fog, not totally certain of the next steps, but knowing this is the right path.
This initially started, for me, on a random day. I saw it in my head: a huge group of women gathered in the name of Jesus, and I knew all of them. It was profound to me. For months, I’ve connected with more women than I have in years, and I’ve realized that what connects them all is me and Jesus. My first thought was, I don’t want to be popular. I’ve never been popular, well known, or a friend to everyone. That was my selfish thought. My next thought was, We are all connected by Jesus. We all have a Savior. That’s what should bring us together. Not because I know anyone, but because He knows all of us.
So I prayed. And mind you, this came at a time that could not have been orchestrated by anyone other than God. I’m part of a 13-week Bible study with dozens of other women, and we’re learning about experiencing God, being obedient, and knowing His will. The second week in, I sat next to my friend Jenna, and God clearly said, She’s your partner in this. Tell her about what I’m going to do. So I told her, and she was on board, without hesitation. It was clear: every week I was having conversations with women about their longing for connection and the clear gap there seemed to be in their involvement in the church.
Every week, I go back to one sentence from our Bible study that is changing me: Don’t just do something. Stand there. That hasn’t been me. When things feel uncomfortable, I bolt. When I have to wait for God to give me an answer, I most often make my own conclusion and go with that. If I’m about to do something that requires faith and a God-sized vision, I try to rationalize with my own knowledge and wisdom. In the end, I’m left wondering why God never came through. I realized it’s because most times, I’m just trying to do something. Not just stand here. His work gets thwarted by my busy-ness.
In the little things, God has been challenging my obedience. I felt led to connect with a friend one night, and so I called her, only to find out she wasn’t home or available to hang out. Our family had to wait nearly two weeks for my husband to get paid, which doesn’t happen as frequently as it used to, and I had to wait. I had to stand here instead of making the next move on buying things on Amazon I “needed”. I hid Rally from the world until I knew God’s direction. He has been faithful in leading us, and when He does, it truly feels like walking on water.
I wish I could tell everyone what God’s going to do, but I’m excited that even I don’t know. I know it’s good. I know He is going to do what I cannot. The word immeasurable keeps coming to mind, and I think it’s because He doesn’t want the numbers or the success of anything to be what I base His goodness and faithfulness upon. He is immeasurably good, and He will be faithful in bringing fruit.
Rally begins Monday, November 7th, and even if you won’t be there, can I rally you to pray over this? Pray over Jenna & I? I never want to just do when I should be still. I want to walk in unmistakable obedience, and I want you to join us.