February 2017 began an immense moment of stillness in my life.
I don’t know about you all, but social media hit a sore spot for me this year. I stopped liking it so much when I witnessed a lot of people abusing the power of their own opinion. I liked it more when it felt like opportunities to love others well. I quickly felt drawn away when the opposite was much more evident.
Then, when I found out I was pregnant, it felt even more important to rest from all the interaction.
I like being an introvert. I like contemplating before I speak, listening, not being the loudest voice. I like being a follower, too. Give me instructions and a task, and I will do it well without asking too many questions. I like resting from conversation.
There’s a lot of influence one can have on the Internet, and when wielded well, produces fruit that only God can create. It’s true everywhere.
When we let God direct steps and only do what He asks and go where He is, there is fruit.
I had a moment while looking at social media when I realized, this season isn’t meant for this platform. It was one of those things, a know-that you know-that you know-thing that comes with peace. You know you shouldn’t do so-and-so simply because it resonates all the way to the pit of your heart.
God’s peace is like that.
This year will be my last year of pregnancy, ever. As far as I know. As far as I’m hoping, if I’m honest. This is the last summer I have with my boys before all-day school starts for the first time. This year will be the hiatus before God catapults us into life after pregnancy.
And I’m excited for it. Expectant. And feeling the need to be more still. Not giving the Internet my best, but just allowing the energy I’ve got (which is not much these days) for the attention of my kids, my husband, my work. Not my influence on the Internet. Just my influence right here, my Gospel work on the ground.
This isn’t an end to anything. It’s just a good moment to rest.
As I’m praying in these days, I’m saying a lot of things like, Father, whatever You want from me. Where You are is where I need to be. Also, does this mean more naps?
Maybe you need someone to tell you that it’s okay. The world will keep spinning even if you’ve gotta step off the ride for a little bit. And your world will not shatter. At least, that’s what we’re all hoping, right? I’m looking to trust a God who holds little worlds like mine in the palm of His hand.