My Praises & Hallelujahs

Before I begin, I want to shed some dead skin.

This year, I bought PowerSheets for the first time. I was so excited. And then I got pregnant, and I lost every motivation to keep them updated. The guilt was fierce. An investment I had made in myself last November was now sitting, collecting dust.

I also stopped doing yoga actively soon after finding out I was pregnant. I should’ve kept going, but it felt like a burden. I wanted to enjoy this one last time, and enjoying it felt like sitting back and napping everyday instead.

I haven’t blogged intentionally in a few months. I quit posting on social media.

I really, really just wanted to live without trying to meet expectations no one set for me.

Okay, much better. Shed the skin, now we can talk.

If you’re reading this, you know me. You know what I write about, you know what ignites fire in my belly, and most likely, you know part of my story. If you don’t, here’s a quick recap:

I love writing for the women I know. My soul is ignited by being fiercely charged to submit wholly to a King who loves me without contempt. I’m a writer, a copywriter, a wife to a freelancer, a mom to three boys + baby in utero, and I am #blessed. Beyond measure. Regardless of our hardships.

This week, for the first time in a few years, I heard the word “calling” and wanted to run.

This is my season of stepping back from all this. From this blog, from social media, from showing up for other people when it’s hard enough to show up for myself. I wanted the sweet gift of being able to enjoy my boys, my new baby, and my husband. I’ve loved every minute. Until this week.

I know my calling. I know what I’m meant to do. I know…

If there is ever a time when you start questioning yourself, it will be when you willingly step away from the things you love to be invested in yourself. 

That’s me, right now. Cue the “Don’t panic, you got this” mode.

I have a lot of thoughts on this self-care, Mommy-needs-a-break, investing-in-ourselves thing. But we’ll save that for another post. Today, I want you to know what I think is important when we feel like we’re lost puppies in God’s big plan.

  • Know the difference between what you feel and what is truth. Truth is important. Truth trumps your feelings. Feelings are easily used by the schemer, so pay attention.
  • Step away, but don’t shift your gaze. I’ve stepped away here. I’ve backed off from filling my schedule, and that is saving my sanity right now. But I’ve still got myself looking at the things that I care deeply about. The relationships I love, the passions I have, and the opportunities I want to pursue in the future. You can step back, you’re allowed to take a breather. But you don’t have to push those things out of your path just because it gets hard.
  • Read your Bible more. I struggle with this everyday, but reading the Bible more is never bad. It’s just more difficult. But you’ll see the fruit.
  • If you think you need a break from your life, maybe you need more time with Jesus. “But I love vacation, I need a glass of wine, a night out with friends…” All good things. But I think our God is not just the one who redeemed us and saved us. He’s also our comforter. He’s also every. single. thing. we need, including the resting place, the hiding place, the escape from hardship. I’m working on this. But I want to want God more than I want the comforts of this world.
  • Pray without ceasing, and pray about all of it. PS, working on this also. My day often does not start in prayer. I tend to forget my husband is my person, and that we should pray together. Prayer is hard. But I suffer without it.
  • Remember. God’s. Promise. Can I say it again? Remember His promise. Whatever it was, whenever it was. Remember when He was faithful. Remember when He came through for you. Remember. And believe that He will fulfill it.

This is what I’m working on right now. All of it. I’ve got none of it nailed down. It’s okay.

Don’t panic. He’s got this.

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