When I am frustrated, upset, worried, or scared, I have a tendency to be silent. My husband will pester me continuously until I talk, reminding me again and again that in the situations when I am keeping silent & holding in my troubles, I am doing no good, especially for myself.
The same, I think, is hard to say for situations when we cry out to God only to find silence in our ears. My husband lost his job almost two months ago, and I felt as though I spent a great deal of time crying to God for a reason. I yelled, grumbled, pleaded…when things are unfair, I am quick to voice my opinion.
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I’m trying to live in grace, to inhabit this space God lays out for me, when things are not always graceful. I am not always graceful, or gentle. I can complain & worry like it’s my job, and I am first in line to let lies dwell within me. What does it look like to live in grace? What sort of nature am I supposed to take on that let’s me see the grace & really walk in it?
I am an introvert under most circumstances, until it comes to prayer. I can chat God’s ear off and never hear a word He has for me. Friends, walking in grace is not easy, and I am not that great at it. But the Lord is good, patient, and kind with me when I am trying to get out of this mindset that I know it all. Silence is not a practice I enjoy. Silence, when I long for answers, is only uncomfortable & unnerving. Silence is unnatural to me. But I think it is so essential to grace, to walking alongside Christ, and living in this place where we can allow Him to be Lord while we are His hands & feet.
Let your gentleness be evident to all.
Silence takes a certain bravery that our words are not always enough, or needed, to bridge the gap between fear & faith. It is letting your great Creator speak on your behalf, speak to your soul, and whisper the courage within you that your own words cannot create. It is humility. It is faith.
Living in grace means being gracious to yourself, because God is gracious to us. So take a break from your words for a little bit, and listen to what a gracious Creator has to tell you.