1,112 Days

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Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?
Romans 11:35

Before Evan & I were married, we went through premarital counseling with a pastor. We were so in love at 20 years old, and we just wanted to be married. Honestly, we didn’t place a lot of thought into anything else. We had a one bedroom apartment, I had two jobs, and Evan was just beginning to work at a full-time job at a printing company. It was the greatest. Everything we had was either a gift from our wedding or furniture we received from an elderly woman for free. It was quite simply just enough, and everything we needed, nothing more and nothing less.

I only remember one session from our premarital counseling. I remember telling our pastor, “I don’t want our life to be just about us and the things that we have or what we do with them. I want it to be about Jesus. And I want Him to provide just enough for us. Our daily bread. And I want that to be enough.” But when that prayer became our reality, and has continued to be our reality for the last three years…there have been times when I have regretted ever saying those words. What was I thinking, praying for “just enough”? I didn’t know we’d have two little boys in two years. I didn’t know what real life could really be like, especially in my naive 20-year-old mind. And I truly didn’t know what it was to live with just enough. My parents blessed me with a great life, and I never felt a need for anything.

Yet here we are, with two boys to care for, and every day for the past 1,112 days, God has provided for us our daily bread. One of the greatest challenges has been learning to trust Him.

What does that look like? Honestly? I still don’t know exactly. It’s never the same every day. But I do know it includes a few things:

1. Believing that God keeps His word. He has never forsaken us, nor will He ever. He promises to see us through and walk with us. And He promises to give us what we need, every day, no matter what.

2. Acknowledging that everything is a gift. Really? Everything? Yes! But it’s not easy. Evan works hard to earn money, but what he earns isn’t ours to spend willy nilly. That is a difficult lesson that we struggle with nearly every week. But where would we be without all the gifts that God rains down on us? We wouldn’t have much of anything. So we treat is as such:  it doesn’t belong to us, even if it’s in our name. Everything for the glory of God.

We aren’t perfect. We aren’t always responsible. We make a lot of mistakes. But God has never failed us. He has always, always, always given us our daily bread. And you know what’s surprising? It’s always more than enough.

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