Surviving vs. Thriving

“You’ve just gotta do it. You don’t think about it, you just go.”

That’s the answer you’ll get from us when you ask about the business my husband runs. Contemplating that thought today, I realized that it’s really how we go about everything in our life.

Another boy, phew, congratulations! You’ll have your hands full!
A graphic design business! Wow! That’s great!
So, how are you? Is everything going okay? How are you doing this? 

For five months, we have been surviving. There were moments where I was certain God was not going to show up for us. There were some serious doubts. But we have survived, nearly thrived, through this time. I see constant reminders almost everyday that say, “If it’s crazy and makes you feel terrified and excited all at once, it’s definitely right.” Or maybe we’re just delusional, insane, doomed…but I’m avoiding thinking that. Our marriage is not in shambles. My boys are fed and healthy. And each day always comes upon us with something new, always waiting to prove how God shows up for us time & time again.

You’ve just gotta do it. You don’t think about it, you just go.

How am I doing this? How am I about to have three boys with an unstable income from my husband? How?

I don’t let myself sit on the thought of all of this for too long. I know, you guys. I know that there is a level of crazy that happens with three children, a degree of fear that comes with small business ownership. But I don’t have time to think about it. If I allow myself the luxury of letting my thoughts stir on the state of life today, I am opening up lots of opportunities for lies to seep in and drown me. And frankly, I just don’t have time for that.

I have time to open my Bible and deliver everything to Jesus. I have time to empty my tank of worries and fears, and then I have the choice to move on or dwell on it. And you guys, it really is that simple. I’m not always confident that I can be the best mom for my boys or the best, supportive wife for my creative husband. I have all of these people who need me, and sometimes I feel stretched beyond belief. But that’s when I need to let it go. I need Jesus. I need Him like the water I drink and the food that I enjoy. I need Him like warmth in the winter and cool in the summer. Beyond that, what is there to think about? What does thinking about this really help? I am present because I am ready. I am equipped with Christ. Not because I sat and pondered my day for an hour, or thought about all of the stuff that I don’t know how to deal with because I am not a business major. I am ready because I’ve got Jesus and that’s enough.

How? Jesus. ..What? Jesus. Really? Yes. Jesus. Every time. All the time. You don’t think about it. You just go.