Seven months ago when my husband lost his job, he jumped feet first into his own graphic design business. It’s the scariest/best thing we’ve ever done. The client base, however, wasn’t quite there and the knowledge about small business anything wasn’t there either. We walked blind, open arms, trusting the One who called us.
This week has been really busy for us. Evan is so busy this week, we don’t even talk much when the “work day” is over. We just sit and watch TV, happy that there is some silence in our home/office/toy cave. Add in some sick little boys, lack of sleep, and other life demands…it’s all I can do to stay awake until 10 PM.
But I realized yesterday, in my husband’s chaotic workload, my attempts at staying lively and exciting for two toddlers (a feat all on its own y’all, considering the extra little guy kicking my bladder) that this is the greatest blessing. I am in awe of how we arrived at this moment in our life, where God has so honored His promises beyond our wildest dreams. I thought back to the early days of this business thing, my terror & heavy tears (and let’s face it, doubt), the news that we were expecting another baby, the blindness in all of it. And these last few days have been tiring and stretching, but for the most incredible reasons: we are thriving. The awe of this moment brings me to my knees, for although I was so doubtful and scared, God honored His promise to us. “I will provide.” And every moment, every single week, He has. We are not rich. We are greatly dependent on every single job my husband receives. And you gotta believe me when I say that God has provided every penny we’ve ever needed, literally down to the cent, at the exact moment it’s needed. Jesus, You floor me. Your dedication to us silences my fear and warrants me to dedicate everything back to You. Amen & amen & amen.
The hardest part is keeping our eyes looking heavenward, towards eternal things. We get going, and I’m tempted to look back and admire how far we have come. I’ve been doing a lot of that this week, and it has not served me well. I’ve been taunted by false truths that make me question our solid foundation in our Creator. You aren’t good enough. You could do better than this. But truth is, I can’t do better than this. God brought this whole plate of goodness into our hands, and I am certain He can do even better and greater if He wanted. I am not the one blessing us over and over. That’s our Papa. That’s our God looking out for us.
I never get tired of praising God for all of this full life we get to live. It’s the greatest adventure.