But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? After Finn was born, I felt deflated (literally and figuratively). It has been mostly a blur since he arrived, leaving me a little bit heartbroken every time I have to swap out bigger clothes for him. Not to mention he’s a chunky boy, so he’s flying through baby … Continue reading The Dreamer in Me vs. Motherhood
It’s been a long four months. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have any kids, sometimes even harder to explain to those who are years outside of first having kids. I got in a funk this time after having a baby. I’ve had three babies, three totally different experiences in parenthood. For some reason, this time has left me walking in circles, harder … Continue reading The Postpartum Funk
It’s shocking when the first month of your newborn baby’s life is over. It is a hard season, one that feels eternal, but is so short. And here we have a 6 week old who sleeps better than my older two ever did and nestled right into our life as though he’s always been here. He came into this world slower than I was expecting, a labor that lasted longer than any other I’ve had. But he was so perfect. And fat. 8 lb 14 oz of rolls and cheeks. Our Finn. Continue reading “The Story of Five”
My boys. My sweet, silly boys. I can’t believe that you’ll both be big brothers within the next couple of weeks, that you’ll be required to grow up even more as our family changes. I feel bad about that some days, that at such a young age, I’ll already require so much of you. But know that I can’t do it without you. Your helpful hands and silly antics remind me of my deepest need: I don’t have to be alone & the joy of your help is real & desired. Continue reading “A Letter to the Boys”
I’m preaching to myself today as much as anyone else. This week has been rough, despite the great celebrations of my son’s first birthday and the discovery of a third boy entering our family soon. But guys, let’s be real, the devil never rests, so I’m speaking Truth a little louder for you & for myself.
I will become a mom of three boys in March. Three boys. Three. I am coaching myself through it, feeling relieved that although a girl would’ve been amazing, I can now breathe a little easier knowing I have done this two times already.
But before I step out into the confidence that I wish I could say I felt, I am sinking deeper into doubt. Parenting is rough. Being a mom is a servant’s job some days, other days the most rewarding experience of all. At the sound of the “I love you’s” and the sweet slobbery kisses, I know I am loved. But I also know that I am tired, I am on my knees, and I am praying for grace over and over and over. Continue reading “What a Mom Wants”